Monday, October 16, 2006

Hero of the Metro

I've got an email from an old-time friend, Em-em. Matagal na rin kaming hindi nagkikita nito because he migrated to the United States. He's needed daw kasi dun lalo sa field of work niya. We only contacted through emails, but the latest email he sent was quite disturbing. He has sentiments kasi with his work and I don't know how to answer it. Kaya I wanna share it with you and kahit papaano maparating sa marami ang sentimiyento niya.

My best friend Billycoy,

Hi! Kamusta na? I hope you're doing well there. I'm currently here in an internet café, because back in the station, we haven't subscribe for a broadband connection pa kasi. I'm not doing fine here. I'm really dissed with my work. My co-workers are really an asshole. They won't make me save other people. Lagi nila akong inuunahan sa pagligtas ng ibang tao, kaya lahat ng credits napupunta na lang sa kanila. I know you know what I'm talking about here, the JLA!

Like that Superman, he is sooo mayabang! He always take the lead. But as everyone knows, he is not that super compared to my powers. His powers is just like my kulangot, a worthless dumi in the galaxy. And one thing, he has a weakness kaya with those kryptonites, while I don't have one, i have two, zits and bad hair days. And his tights are so ugly kaya, it's even passé. He is giving me one nga, but i refuse to have it kasi naman, it's a big EWWW! I'm not wearing those tights because I'm not going to an aerobics class. My clothes are maganda na kaya. Coutures from Michael Kors and Tom Ford na kaya ang mga suot ko. I don't even wear the same clothes over and over again. And another, as if he stand the chance with his Lois Lane, eh obvious naman na Lois is just using Kal-el just to be closer to his cousin Kara-el, Supergirl. Yes, Lois Lane is a lesbo. I could read it from her mind using my uber cool telephatic powers.

Have I told you that Wonder Woman is salivating a waterfalls over me? Yes, she's going gaga over my good looks. In her dreams ha. She's not my type kaya, and she won't pass because she's not even fashionable to display. She's wearing a star-spangled aerobic tights knowing that she's an amazon from Greece. Ewww, I don't like amazona beauties. Kaya nga these days she ignores me and making those lame parinigs because I dumped her. And I don't care I have charms and good looks more than anybody have. I can have a googol of girls.

And these freaks are blaming for the 9/11 incident, kasi that's the moment they told me if I could prove to them that I am reliable from their team. But I can't go that moment, because I'm in a spa in Beverly Hills that time. If they called hours ago maybe I can go, kaso it was just a short notice, 5 minutes before the planes get bangga to those towers. 5 minutes, like hello!? I need to prepare myself pa, I need to go back to my home in New York to get my couture clothes and have my hair styled pa in a salon. I don't go on a rescue kaya looking wasted and haggard, kailangan lagi akong disente and proper to be a good rolemodel sa people.

And the media freaks! I really hate them. They named me ba naman METROMAN! Big EWWW kaya yun. The name is totally hideous! Para naman akong taxi driver niyan or yung mga taong may dalang metric tape who makes sukat the cadavers in the morgues and hospitals. I could give them my real identity if they will be asking me nicely, kaso I know the media here, they may even bringing paparazzi's to intrude my abode and privacy in New York.

O sige na. Next e-mail na lang. I need to go to the asteroid belt pa to do my morning exercises pa. You know me naman, I need to pound some asteroids and do my bench press with those meteors pa.

Ciao.


Your best friend,
MM


P.S. Please tell my regards to Mang Tibur and to his daughter Polay for graduating B.S. Embalsamatory. Thanks.


Nalungkot tuloy ako sa nangyayari sa best friend kong iyon. Nakakaawa. Masyado siyang inaapi ng mga kasamahan niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong tulong ang mabibigay ko. Ano ba ang magagawa ko para sa kanya?

22 comments:

Kiro said...

Totoo ba yan? parang pinsan ni cofibean yun ah... anyway kidding aside...
iono man... because you can't help it if other people are assholes... syempre di lahat ng tao mababait dba. Well bakit di sya maghanap ng iba work or magpalipat or w/e.... Well kase kung gusto mo talaga mangyare or magawa isang bagay... kahit anu man ang consequence nun gagawen mo to just get what you want...
Ahehe basta wan ahehe good luck na lang sa friend mo! at kay Mang Tibur and her daughter! Ahehehe
uy baka anak ni mang Tibur available HAHAHA jowk lang...

Gener said...

Hay nako kiro! Sineryoso mo talaga ang pagpayo ah! whahah


tanong ko lang.... ikaw ba billycoy may superpowers din?

Billycoy said...

kiro > hayaan mo makakarating yan kay em-em

gener > isa lang superpower ko, kaso sa akin na lang yun, silent but deadly kasi

Donya Quixote said...

i *heart* your header. asteeg.

parang maritess yung ginawa mo, pero conyo lang nga. hehehe funny. :D *thumbs up*

Talamasca said...

Tell him to do something about his grammar issues. Noun-verb agreement, proper use of tenses and stuff like that. My gawd, maybe that's the reason why these Americans are not down with him. The language and grammar barriers somehow hamper the communication.

Oh, tell him also to crawl into a hole and die. That helps big time. ;-p

utakGAGO said...

i thought it's bayani fernando. HAHAHA (i don't even know if BF is still the mmda chairman).

mm. manoling morato? margarita magno? madam mauring? HAHAHA.

dunno.

:D but i love reading the uber-coolit-and-so-gaga-to-the-highest-kakonyohan-level na post. :) HAHAHA.

kagago!!

blacksoul said...

Yan na nga ba ang mga sinasabi ko eh,lintik... inaapi tayo sa Tate..hahahahaa kidding

Parang si cofibean yung nagemail sayo ah..

Pakisabi sa bestfriend mo,kaya pala nagmumukha nang basurahan yung outerspace eh doon sha nageexercise,hehehehe..

I love it here,Masaya.Congrats dun kay Polay,doon ako magpapaembalsamo pag namatay ako.

hahaha

*redg* said...

Akala ko pa naman todo seryoso yung e-mail. :P Hahaha. Na-confuse ako nung biglang JLA. Haha. Tas na-realize ko na lang, 'ah, ok, Justice League.' =))

Ehh. Ang slow ko. Para ngang si Cofibean yung nag-email. Baka related sila. :))

juOn said...

Karakter ka Billycoy ah. :-) Itong si Eng-Eng, este, Em-Em, bading ba sya? My gaydar is tingling. hahahahaha I can sense a tinge of covetousness in his hostility towards Wonder Woman. hahahaha

nona said...

moi again...dalawa pala blog mo,..salamat uli sa comment...
feel free to visit my site again.

Balik ako dito, promise!:)

karlee said...

nyahaha super powers? san ko ba makukha yun? :-/ gsto ko super powers na makakapagspray ako ng tsokolate! XD joke :D

nababangag na ba akO?

lahat ng masama sa mundo napaparusahan.. ang mababait, pnagppala..

jeniffer said...

hahaha..malungkot ba talaga yung bestfriend mo? di kaya halata.. natatawa kaya ako sa mga sinasabi nya, that's one of the best leeter i read somehow.. :)

tc!

xoxiRiSH_29xox said...

hindi ko alam. haha. natawa lang ako sa email nia sau. konyo..ampf..hehehe..pero astig xa mag-excercise....ala lng..

Hasson Marque said...

hi billycoy, thnx for dropping by im my blog!!!

Hasson Marque said...

hey, link mo ko sa blog mo link din kita..thanks!

Isaiah said...

wow your so funny..link kita link mo ko...! ;-)

Kira Yagami said...

hello. :) nice blog.

natatawa talaga ako sa mga post mo. Isa pa nakakarelate din ako sa mga post mo.

Aba may bestfriend ka palang superhero. Napakalaki naman ng problema niya. Ang maipapayo ko lamang ay basahin niya ang blog mo upang sumaya siya. Hahaha.

cars said...

haha!! kagago nman itoow. XD

queen paranoia said...

haha! grabe toh ah! hankoolet magsalita! ang saya nito basahin! nakakatuwa! :]

CeEjAy said...

ano ibig sabihin ng MM?

chel said...

wow.. wata bigaten friend u have. :P

Anonymous said...

Galing talaga Billycoy. Ikaw ang new idol ko. Talagang natawa ako dun sa mga email ni MM. Sana dagdagan mo kasi bitin yung apat lang. You got the makings of another Pol Medina here, ala Pugad Baboy. I-syndicate mo na tong mga email mo para mabenta mo. Siguradong maraming matutuwang pinoy dito. We have a new hero, Metroman!